<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	xmlns:georss="http://www.georss.org/georss" xmlns:geo="http://www.w3.org/2003/01/geo/wgs84_pos#" xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>Armadillolady&#039;s Blog</title>
	<atom:link href="http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com</link>
	<description>Just another WordPress.com site</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Sat, 19 Nov 2011 10:48:37 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.com/</generator>
<cloud domain='armadillolady.wordpress.com' port='80' path='/?rsscloud=notify' registerProcedure='' protocol='http-post' />
<image>
		<url>http://s2.wp.com/i/buttonw-com.png</url>
		<title>Armadillolady&#039;s Blog</title>
		<link>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com</link>
	</image>
	<atom:link rel="search" type="application/opensearchdescription+xml" href="http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/osd.xml" title="Armadillolady&#039;s Blog" />
	<atom:link rel='hub' href='http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/?pushpress=hub'/>
		<item>
		<title>Whole Lotta Sinnin&#8217; Going On. (MySpace)</title>
		<link>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/09/15/whole-lotta-sinnin-going-on-myspace/</link>
		<comments>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/09/15/whole-lotta-sinnin-going-on-myspace/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Sep 2010 00:31:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>armadillolady</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[censorship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christianity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fundamentalist Christian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[homosexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MySpace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[salvation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/?p=10</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I had a blog deleted from MySpace today.  It was one of my milder ones too.  Apparently MySpace will delete a blog just on the say-so of a bully.  So, now I am back to copying all my stuff from &#8230; <a href="http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/09/15/whole-lotta-sinnin-going-on-myspace/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=armadillolady.wordpress.com&amp;blog=15139499&amp;post=10&amp;subd=armadillolady&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>I had a blog deleted from MySpace today.  It was one of my milder ones too.  Apparently MySpace will delete a blog just on the say-so of a bully.  So, now I am back to copying all my stuff from MySpace to here to protect it.  Censorship is lame.  Always.</div>
<div><label>Whole Lotta Sinnin&#8217; Going On!</label><br />
Current mood: <img src="http://x.myspacecdn.com/images/blog/moods/iBrads/aggravated.gif" alt="" /> argumentative<br />
<strong>Category:</strong> Religion and Philosophy</div>
<div id="pBlogBody_479332305">WHOLE LOTTA SINNIN’ GOING ON<br />
(Or, What’s Sin got to do with it?)</p>
<p>I  spend a lot of my time on MySpace surfing the religion and philosophy  blogs.  Sometimes, if I like what is written I leave kudos, maybe an  attaboy comment,  and cruise on.  Sometimes I don’t like what is  written.  So, no kudos, and I still cruise on. It’s their blog, and they  have the right to their opinion.  For me to voice disagreement seems  like bad manners.</p>
<p>But when I arrive at a blog I like, or one  written by one of the friends who’s writing I follow, and find  someone  has started a name-calling, hissy-fit of a slam war, then I jump into  the fray.  Good manners are suspended for the duration. The  disagreements are usually among various factions of Christians, and  usually have something to do with either sin or redemption from sin.</p>
<p>The  sin in question is almost always homosexuality, but sometimes its  something like not taking the Bible literally enough to believe in  Creationism, or some such.</p>
<p>Some of what is contained here are recycled from my comments to these wars, and some of it is new.</p>
<p>Here  is where I think that all the disagreements get started.  We all agree  that Christ is The Savior.  What we disagree about is who He has saved.</p>
<p>There  are many Christians who  believe that Christ saved all mankind.  Perfectly logical, simple and easy to agree with.  It says so all over  the New Testament.  It says it is God&#8217;s will for this to be so. And if  it God&#8217;s will that all are saved, who will stand in the way of God&#8217;s  will?  Not me, honey!</p>
<p>There are others who  believe that only  those who repent of their sin are saved.  Says that here and there in  the Bible too.  People who take this line are usually fundamentalists or  literalists.  The problem  with that is that the Bible also says that  all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  So, in order to be  saved, all men must repent .  If they don&#8217;t repent&#8230;not saved. Ok, I  can go along with that.</p>
<p>The arguments start when we can’t agree  about redemption. Because then we are led to question, when does this  repentance have to take place? Just one time when we are first saved?,  or over and over again, every-time we sin?  So, are we re-saved every  time we repent?   And of course, we have the  eternal question, &#8220;what  happens if we sin a tiny little sin and then Wham!&#8230;hit by a beer truck  before we have time to repent?!</p>
<p>And now we come to the deal  breaker for a lot of people. The question of what, exactly, constitutes  sin?  How do we know?  You would think it would be easy.  But no&#8230;.</p>
<p>We  start out fairly simply.  10 Commandments.  Ok, we can all handle 10.   And these are good, no-brainer commandments.  Don&#8217;t steal, check.  Don&#8217;t  lie, check.  Don&#8217;t covet, well that&#8217;s a hard one, but check, got it.   Honor thy mother and father, un-huh, no problem. And so on.  Yes, we can  quibble about the no killing one, because of military service and death  penalty, but, yeah, we are pretty sure God meant murder, so ok.  The 10  commandments are good.  Let&#8217;s keep them.  But then we get to later in  the Old Testament.  Whooo boy!</p>
<p>You got all these sins added in.   We have, don&#8217;t eat pork and we have don&#8217;t wear certain kinds of  clothes.  And on and on pages and pages of sins, so many and so complex  that it is a full time job to figure out who is sinning and who&#8217;s not.   Which is pretty much what the Hebrew priests and rabbis did.  Full time!</p>
<p>So,  to clear up all this sin stuff, early Christians decided that Christ&#8217;s  coming brought us a new law.  A new covenant, or contract with God,  which threw out the old law.  Oh, good&#8230;because I was getting a  headache, and besides, I love me some bacon!</p>
<p>However, we are also  told that Christ didn&#8217;t do away with sin.  Rats, just when it was  getting easy!  OK, so what are the sins, now?  Well we go back to those  original 10&#8230;yeah bring those back.  But all that no-eating pork, etc.   no we don&#8217;t go by those.  OK Cooking along here, gonna eat me some  bacon, oh yeah!</p>
<p>But wait, we find out that God doesn&#8217;t like some  stuff that was a sin in the Old Testament, so we have to keep those on  the sin list.  &#8220;Sigh&#8221;  Ok, what are those sins?  And here we go!  Fornicating, prostituting, homosexuality…well just make that pretty much  anything sexual.  Wait a minute!  God don&#8217;t like sex?  Well, He does,  but only in marriage between one man and one woman, and only in the  missionary position.  Oh, and only to have children.  So if you are  married and use birth control, you are back in there sinning again!   Well, Geez, no sex would be a whole lot easier!  Which is where we got  celibate clergy I guess.  But we better not all be celibate, or that  would be the end of us all, which might be ok, because at least we  wouldn’t  be arguing anymore!  But probably not the end God has in mind  for his Creation, after all. Ever wonder why there are hardly any  Shakers left around anymore?  The “no sex” thing did them in.</p>
<p>Well, the idea of all these sex sins turned out to be so popular, that,  oh dear!  here come a bunch more sins.  Greed. Pride. Envy. Bring &#8216;em  on, bring &#8216;em on.  Especially since I don&#8217;t do any of those things, do  I?  Oh, wait.  Man!  Someone just made it a sin to eat meat on Friday.   Here we go again!  More sins!  Seemingly stupid sins, but God has a  plan.  We just have to trust.  So trusting in God, we find more and more  sinful things.  Women shouldn&#8217;t cut their hair or wear pants, or talk  back to their husbands.  Sin, sin, sin.  Well, only for some kinds of  Christians, so that’s ok. Because I am the other kind.  Well wait a  minute.  We got some others that say that dancing is a sin, and so is  smoking tobacco, drinking alcohol, coffee and Coca-Cola!  And now we are  back to a state where sin is so darn confusing that we just go buy our  beer on Sunday and go to the lake.</p>
<p>Which gets me to my point,  finally.  If salvation is based on sin, or not sin, or anything we,as  humans, can do or not do, it is a total mess. If salvation has anything  to do with sin,  don’t you think God would have made it very clear  exactly what sin is?  And yet He didn&#8217;t.  Through time millions of  brilliant Bible scholars have not been able to figure it out.  Why is  that?  Because sin doesn&#8217;t have much to do with salvation.</p>
<p>Now,  wait a minute! Here I am, all saved and everything, and I have repented  of my sin, which is sometimes hard, you know because of Adam and Eve and  all.  But we got some nutcases telling me that people who don’t repent  of their sin are going to be saved anyway? Why do they get a free ride,  and I have to try not to sin, and sit on the front row at church and  listen to some preacher drone on and on and make me late for the  football game, and I read my Bible faithfully everyday (well, ok I nap  with my Bible over my face most of the time because a lot of it will  just put you out!)  What is wrong with this picture?</p>
<p>Well, back again to the definition of sin, and the definition of repentance.</p>
<p>You  see, it is real confusing, even to Christian scholars, whether we are  to return to the Old Testament lists of sins, which include some strange  stuff, like not wearing clothes of mixed fiber, and no eating shrimp  and pork and such.  Or do we look for our definition of sin in the New  Testament?  If we do that we have a hard row to how, because  you see,  Christ’s words on the subject of sin aren’t very clear.  I mean, like  the little boy in Sunday school, we can discern that on the matter of  Christ and sin, “He’s against it,” but we don’t have any good old lists  like Leviticus provides us with.</p>
<p>Sure, we know that from his  actions in the temple, strowing the tables around and such, that Christ  was of the opinion that some sinning was going on.  But was it the money  lending?  Uh, Oh!  Bad news for bankers.  Oh, it was all the buy and  selling going on.  Oh, dear, and here I am in sales!  At Wal-Mart no  less! Dum de dum-dum.  Or was it just that they were making a whole lot  of racket and disturbing the quiet holiness of the place.  Now you folks  that hoot and holler on Sunday are in for it!</p>
<p>Christ also made  some comments on hypocrites and Pharisees, so we can probably assume  that hypocrisy is a big ole sin.  Are you ever a hypocrite?<br />
No?  Liar, liar pants on fire!</p>
<p>How  can you tolerate the fat lady sitting in the front row of your nice,  clean church shouting amen, when the sin of gluttony is so obvious? Why  don&#8217;t you get up in her face and witness to her that she is going to  hell? I bet you don&#8217;t. I bet you ask her to bake her delicious chocolate  cake for the Ladies Aid bake sale? And in doing so, you are a  hypocrite.  There ya go!</p>
<p>When we tell someone that they are going  to hell for the sins you see them commit, you let Death and Satan into  your heart, and Satan&#8217;s words come out of your mouth. Cursing is a sin,  and telling someone they&#8217;re damned to hell is a curse&#8230;.a much worse  curse than saying the word bullshit!</p>
<p>Which is what I hear a lot of on MySpace on the subject of sin.</p>
<p>You  say sin is a choice?  Well, science has pretty much come to a consensus  that homosexuality is not a choice.  You are born that way.  If  Christianity could actually cure homosexuality, as wide spread as it is  (about 10% of the population is homosexual) it seems like there would be  a whole lot of cured homosexuals around to tell us about the  experience.  And there just aren’t.  There are a few  (a very few!)  deluded folks around who say they have been cured of their  homosexuality!  Folks, either they were just a little curious and tried  it a few times, or they are so fu**ed up that the cure is just a matter  of time in becoming a relapse.  And with it, a complete turn from their  faith.</p>
<p>And if you are of the opinion that some things are sins  because they are in the Bible as sin, then you had better be keeping  kosher, because you just can’t say that every Word in the Bible is  absolute truth, and then go picking and choosing that truth.</p>
<p>For  God’s sake, and our own, people, we have got to keep it simple or  Christianity becomes unlivable. Let’s stop shouting damnation over our  differing opinions, and present a united Body in Christ.</p>
<p>All have  sinned and fall short of the glory of God! Remember? ALL. The Bible  doesn&#8217;t say we quit sinning when we accept Christ as our Savior. It  doesn&#8217;t say we have to repent and repent every time we sin, because  nobody would be able to do anything for all that constant repenting.</p>
<p>My  point is that if we as Christians remain obsessed with sin, we miss the  whole point of Christ&#8217;s sacrifice on the cross. Christ&#8217;s sacrifice  saved us from the consequence of our sin. Christ&#8217;s sacrifice conquered  sin, and conquered death.  To say anything else makes the awesomeness of  that event trivialized.</p>
<p>And if that ain’t a sin, it ought to be!</p>
<p>I  welcome comments from all readers. I do ask that you not cut and paste  tons and tons of scripture, as I have a Bible, I read it, and I don’t  need another copy.  By all means, provide scriptural reference if you  want, but then give me your interpretation.  I want to know what you  think!</p>
<p>Be blessed.</p>
</div>
<p>Original post:  <a href="http://www.myspace.com/denesebramblette/blog?page=3#ixzz0zYMF3Kq3">http://www.myspace.com/denesebramblette/blog?page=3#ixzz0zYMF3Kq3</a></p>
<br />  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/armadillolady.wordpress.com/10/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=armadillolady.wordpress.com&amp;blog=15139499&amp;post=10&amp;subd=armadillolady&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/09/15/whole-lotta-sinnin-going-on-myspace/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/56c9966e3430d0e740396dc6754a8217?s=96&#38;d=identicon&#38;r=X" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">armadillolady</media:title>
		</media:content>

		<media:content url="http://x.myspacecdn.com/images/blog/moods/iBrads/aggravated.gif" medium="image" />
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>What&#8217;s a QuickPress?</title>
		<link>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/whats-a-quickpress/</link>
		<comments>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/whats-a-quickpress/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Aug 2010 03:25:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>armadillolady</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/?p=3</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So, lets just see what this thingy does.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=armadillolady.wordpress.com&amp;blog=15139499&amp;post=3&amp;subd=armadillolady&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So, lets just see what this thingy does.</p>
<br />  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/armadillolady.wordpress.com/3/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=armadillolady.wordpress.com&amp;blog=15139499&amp;post=3&amp;subd=armadillolady&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/whats-a-quickpress/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/56c9966e3430d0e740396dc6754a8217?s=96&#38;d=identicon&#38;r=X" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">armadillolady</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>My best from MySpace: Weirdness</title>
		<link>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/10/my-best-from-myspace-weirdness/</link>
		<comments>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/10/my-best-from-myspace-weirdness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Aug 2010 23:11:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>armadillolady</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Widowhood]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/?p=4</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Weirdness Originally posted on MySpace on 7/16/10 Tomorrow will be three weeks that my Roland died.  21 days.  Very, very long days. This is a little reflection on what it is like. I am in a very weird place. I &#8230; <a href="http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/10/my-best-from-myspace-weirdness/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=armadillolady.wordpress.com&amp;blog=15139499&amp;post=4&amp;subd=armadillolady&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><!--- blog subject --></p>
<div><label>Weirdness</label> Originally posted on MySpace on 7/16/10<br />
<strong> </strong></div>
<p><!--- blog body --></p>
<div id="pBlogBody_537186971"><span style="font-size:medium;">Tomorrow will be three weeks that my Roland died.  21 days.  Very, very long days.</p>
<p>This is a little reflection on what it is like.</p>
<p>I am in a very weird place.</p>
<p>I  hope you will bear with me.  I know you have all grieved.  For lost  parents, brothers, sisters, friends, and others. I have too. This is  worse.  Much worse.  The only thing that could be worse is the death of a  child.</p>
<p>First of all, let me say, &#8220;Widowhood sucks.  There is nothing about it that does not suck.  Period.&#8221; </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">For  those of you in happy marriages, my advice is, die first.  Really.   This is a really bad place, and I can&#8217;t think of anything to recommend  it.  Other than that if I had, in fact, died first, I would have left my  love in this position.  So, with that thought, I must accept that this  is my cross to bear for now.</p>
<p>Thea wrote this for me:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><strong>Trying Cry</p>
<p>Still and silent soul<br />
Finally and too soon bereft  of its twining mate<br />
Spinning quietly with the momentum of parting<br />
Soon  spent&#8230;how on<em> Earth—God!</em>—do we find<br />
Our dark clad foot on a  darkly lit path<br />
Never mind the next step, but just to place it down  again,<br />
Now the piper’s tune is done and the dance replete?</p>
<p>Vision  altered with diamond tears in velvet night<br />
Pain in nova blossoms  anew and spreads<br />
Articulated, sharp-edged, and merciless<br />
Until all  is a conflagration of grief<br />
Travelling a raw and well-seasoned  network tracery<br />
In to every abode, den, and way place of body and  mind<br />
Faith and hope become millstones of cold reprove&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230;yet&#8230;</p>
<p>For  a breath, all that tarries is Love<br />
Plain, unmet, answerless&#8230;</p>
<p>Ask  again, Denese&#8230;for the twelve quartered wind<br />
Is always listening,  and draws its zephyrs even now<br />
To your succor&#8230;however it may shape  and press<br />
The cloth of your being against your beleaguered frame<br />
Love  that is spent is not lost, and well-spent flourishes beyond its  wielders<br />
Returning on a sister brother breeze</p>
<p>Seek ye out the  breasts of your loved ones<br />
And lay your head down upon them<br />
Be  held and caressed and kissed<br />
Cry all of your tears<br />
That in sweet  catharsis you may be left<br />
Limp and pliant, and there you may rest  awhile<br />
Seek not beyond this for now<br />
It is enough to place your  foot down<br />
On that darkly lit path, and wait for the coming dawn</strong></span></p>
<div>
<span style="font-size:medium;">I think Thea must have been here before.  Or she is amazingly empathetic.</p>
<p>My  first impression was the surprise at the physical loneliness.  That  caught me unprepared.  The physical presence that had been a given for  me&#8230;hugs, kisses, hands held, the weight of him next to me in bed, or  watching television. The sound of his footsteps, his constant cough.   The sound of his labored breathing the last few weeks, even. Now a big  empty space.  A terrible&#8221;wrongness&#8221; in the world.  Because he is not  there. And for 26 years, he was never &#8220;not there.&#8221; </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">We  always met adversity by saying, &#8220;It will be alright, as long as we are  together.&#8221;  That saying was my mantra through all the many adversities  in life.  So now I must find a way for &#8220;it&#8221; to be alright, even though  we aren&#8217;t together anymore. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:medium;">Because, you  see, I know he doesn&#8217;t want me to stop living.  Or enjoying what life  has to offer.  I know he wants me to go on and be happy.</p>
<p>So, rather than curl up and die in my grief, I must work through it.  And it is a very hard thing.</p>
<p>The day before yesterday, I did not cry.  That was a milestone.  I made up for it yesterday.</p>
<p>I  cry when I meet a friend of his that doesn&#8217;t know, and when they ask  how he is, I have to tell them that he is gone.  And endure their shock  and sadness.</p>
<p>I cry when I see something that he would have enjoyed seeing or hearing about.</p>
<p>I cry when I see a book that he would have enjoyed reading. Or a TV show that would have stirred him.</p>
<p>I  cry when I am reminded how much I have lost.  I cry when I run  errands.  He always did that for me, because he knew I hated it. I cry  when I cook.  He always cooked for me.  I cry when I do laundry.   Because he always did the laundry.</p>
<p>How selfish am I?</p>
<p>But you know, I am starting to get real tired of crying.</p>
<p>When will I have cried enough.  I wonder?</p>
<p>When will I stop reaching for him unconsciously?</p>
<p>When will I stop looking for chocolate to buy for him?</p>
<p>When will I buy teal blue clothing that I like, but never did because he doesn&#8217;t like that color?</p>
<p>When will my grief stop being the center of my existence.  My daily task?</p>
<p>Ever?</p>
<p>I hope.</p>
<p>This  is a very strange place for me to be, this unhappy place of grief.  I  don&#8217;t like it at all.  But, I know that it is where I must be for now.   So, I am willing to accept.</p>
<p>For now.</p>
<p>OK, enough crying today.</p>
<p>I will think of something to laugh about.</p>
<p>Stolen funeral flowers.  I have to laugh.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for being my friend, and my support.</p>
<p>Denese<br />
</span><span style="font-size:medium;"></span></div>
</div>
<br />  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/armadillolady.wordpress.com/4/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=armadillolady.wordpress.com&amp;blog=15139499&amp;post=4&amp;subd=armadillolady&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/10/my-best-from-myspace-weirdness/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/56c9966e3430d0e740396dc6754a8217?s=96&#38;d=identicon&#38;r=X" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">armadillolady</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hello world!</title>
		<link>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/10/hello-world/</link>
		<comments>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/10/hello-world/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Aug 2010 22:36:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>armadillolady</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/?p=1</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=armadillolady.wordpress.com&amp;blog=15139499&amp;post=1&amp;subd=armadillolady&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome to <a href="http://wordpress.com/">WordPress.com</a>. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!</p>
<br />  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/armadillolady.wordpress.com/1/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=armadillolady.wordpress.com&amp;blog=15139499&amp;post=1&amp;subd=armadillolady&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://armadillolady.wordpress.com/2010/08/10/hello-world/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/56c9966e3430d0e740396dc6754a8217?s=96&#38;d=identicon&#38;r=X" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">armadillolady</media:title>
		</media:content>
	</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
